我讨厌mr M,更讨厌我自己！basket! just cant concentrate. am actually really stress, tired, annoyed n kinda mad rite now. physical unwell, mentally disorder n emotionally affected. wth!

btw, went french mkt n food show today. spent abt $80 today. honey $13 (nz xmas tree honey), a box of 12 mini dough croissant $10, 2 boxes of cereal $5, food show entrance fee $22, food from french mkt $12, lunch/dinner $8, a novel $5, n dunu what else. actually ate quite a lot of diff stuff at the food show today, about 2 to 3hrs of eating.

last nite went check out flights. Auckland to SIN, return, Msian airline, Oct, only $1148! so tempted to go back. usual abt $1600. dunu to go back for abt 2 to 3wks anot leh. mr M said he wont come NZ liao, cos he cant promise. if he cant come, then that's y i'm considering to go back lor. told him last time was $1700 by SQ for SIN to AKL. but check last nite too, SIN to AKL by Bruneiair is $1180, travel before Mar'10. so not sure if he still keen anot lor. told Shirley abt me going back in Oct, then she say what for, not worth, cos I'll be back in a few more mths time. but that's 6mths time (Nov to Apr). hmm.. what leh~ cant even ask mr M what he thinks, cos he didnt even answer my call. hmph! this thing stuck here, make me so hard to work on my uni work. grrr... feel like knocking myself to the wall.. sometime I think I hate myself for loving him. should tell myself go n die lar, so useless..

1 small happy thing. talked to bro on phone today. he's being nice n caring again. haha. but still say I shouldnt grow fat. duh! I cant help it also mar. then also ask if I got bf. lol funny. I still wana ask if he got gf anot lor. anyway, he's leaving to Perth tmr, but be back late Oct/early Nov. even before I'm gona be back (that's still Apr).

oh well, April do some work! n stop being so into somebody, u useless fool!
or maybe I should listen to Shirley to cast him away. dunu.