This month is really not a good month. Beside being out of rls, being sick twice pretty badly, now another bad news. Ah gong has passed away. My wish can't be fulfilled anymore. Ah gong won't be able to witness my wedding. The other time when he was in hospital, I somemore asked that Marcus to accompany me to see him, but then again he said when he has the time. Anyway lucky I went to see him once at hospital when I got back. If not, I really am gonna regret for the rest of my life. cos I've been away from Singapore, esp when the time he fell n got sent to hospital I wasn't there as well. Sorry Ah gong. Didn't let you see my boyfriend. Didn't let you see me get married. I was even scared when I visited you in hospital. But memories of you stay. At this very moment, I am very sad and how I wish I have you by my side for me to cry onto. Rest in peace, Ah gong.
hai~ what has happened to me? what's wrong?! everything's wrong!!!
Bad things are:
- Had a big blow emotional. Was all but unnecessary mess. Yes, I was the problem creator. If I never said those stuff on that day, things might not turn out this way. What was I thinking then? But anyway, what'd happened have happened, n now I'm coping well. Not say exactly well, but at least not clinging on or hoping for anything. But still will keep thinking of him, texts occasionally. Well, we're still friends, who still love each other (duh!).
- Worse thing now is, I've been physically down for 5 days thus far. Fever just don't go away. Temperature record:
Sun night - not taken, but it's the worst feeling n woke up at 1, 4 n 7am.
Mon am - 39.1, pm - 38.1, Night - 37.6, see doc 1
Tue am - 39.1, pm - 37.1, Night - 36.8 [I thought I recovered :( ]
Wed am - 38.6, pm - ?, Night - 37.7, see doc 2, spots appear
Thu am - 38.7, prolly seeing doc again for blood test.
I either keep sweating n sweating, or if I'm uncovered in blanket, I'll feel the chill. n I really Stink! Not only the sweat but also my mouth, my breath. hate to swallow pills too. too much! antibiotics, vit c, fever, n inflammation pills. Spots appearing on my limbs n chest. Don't know what kinda virus I've got. keep on fall sick. last 2 weeks just food poisoning ok, then now sick again. this mth is a sickly mth for me =( I wanna get well. I wanna get back to work.
Good things are:
- Pole performance at Groovy Night turns out to be great n fun, n no mishap.
- Going off to London and Frankfurt for holiday soonish in 2 weeks time. But I need to get well first. Hope nth goes wrong.
From the song: Maybe I could meet you there by Busted:
I'm waiting
For the perfect time to call you back
Cos' I remember saying
Don't wanna know the truth
Can't handle that
And I try to (and I try to)
Just forget you (just forget you)
But don't know how
If only I knew
[Chorus:]
It's written all over your face
Such a painful thing to waste
Tell me now where do we go?
Now the future's not so clear
I can't believe we've ended here
Where's the world that doesn't care?
Maybe I could meet you there
Yeah
I'm sorry
If I slagged you down, I meant no harm
When I heard the stories
Said things I didn't mean
Should have stayed calm
Sadly
Got angry
And it breaks my heart
You're so mad at me
[Chorus:]
It's written all over your face
Such a painful thing to waste
Tell me now where do we go?
Now the future's not so clear
I can't believe we've ended here
Where's the world that doesn't care?
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I could meet you there
It's written all over your face
Such a painful thing to waste
Tell me now where do we go?
Now the future's not so clear
I can't believe we've ended here
Where's the world that doesn't care?
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I should meet you there
From the song: Sorry's Not Good Enough by McFly.
Good, good, good, good enough.
Good, good, good enough.
Good, good, good enough.
Good, good
I can't stop, I can't stop loving you.
You're a dreamer and dreaming's what you do,
I won't stop believing that this is the end, there must be another way.
Cos I couldn't handle the thought of you going away, woah yeah.
Sorry's not good enough, why are we breaking up?
Cos I didn't treat you rough so please don't go changing.
What was I thinking of?
You said you're out of love, baby don't call this off because sorry's not good enough.
Don't stop, all those things you do.
I'm a believer and that's what gets you through,
I can't fight this feeling that this is the end,
We're in the thick of it, where will this ever end? Woah, woah.
Sorry's not good enough, why are we breaking up?
Cos I didn't treat you rough so please don't go changing.
What was I thinking of?
You said you're out of love, baby don't call this off because sorry's not good enough.
Oh, you said you'd never leave me be there, to hold and please me.
Sorry's just not good enough for you,
Everybody makes mistakes and that's just what we do.
Good, good, good, good enough.
Good, good, good enough.
Good, good, good enough.
Good, good.
Don't go changing, [X8]
Don't go changing (sorry's not good enough),
Don't go changing (sorry's not good enough),
Don't go changing (sorry's not good enough),
Don't go changing.
Sorry's not good enough, why are we breaking up?
Cos I didn't treat you rough so please don't go changing.
What was I thinking of?
You said you're out of love, baby don't call this off because sorry's not good enough.
Sorry's not good enough.
Sorry's not good enough
Purple quotes:
I won't stop believing that this is the end, there must be another way. Sorry's not good enough, why are we breaking up? What was I thinking of? Don't stop, all those things you do. You said you'd never leave me. Sorry's not good enough for you, but everybody makes mistakes, and that's just what we do. Don't go changing!!! Baby don't call this off because Sorry's Not Good Enough...
Haix~
time to let go.
放开手是我最后的温柔.
from the song: 疼爱 by Jam
把疼爱都给你把疼痛都给我
放开手是我最后的温柔
如果你能飞得快乐自由
这疼痛并不算什麽
anyway, wish u all the best. we r free! =)
I'll look forward to my trip. London baby, here I come! n maybe Germany too. haha. September Holiday! Also looking forward to Clovis arrival, receiving a call anytime. And, pole performance on 21st Aug. Training! As for now, relationship matter has cast aside. Work wise is the issue. PH, National Starch, or UK? Will see.
all good now.
back to what it supposed to be.
hui dao yuan dian.
OMG!!!!! really OMG!!!
I'm such a bad bad bad girl!!!!
Why is this kinda thing happening again?!!
This time is more serious n shouldn't be happening at all.
4 words to describe:
(in English) Gonna go crazy.......
(in Chinese) shen jing cuo luan!
What's the aftermath? I seriously dunu.
I dunu the ans. I dunu the outcome. I dunu what's gonna happen further next.
hai~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
